Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Best KD ever

This is a story of my adventure to get kd and cook it. Enjoy.

so, i got my ipod, my car keys, and my phone, which was charging. Headed out to my car, started it up. put on my ipod, chose an awesome song. and got on my way to shoppers drug mart on davie, which Is the only place i know of that sells milk at midnight.

I get to fourth avenue, and while trying to turn, some asshole in the oncoming lane stops in the intersection as if he's going to turn, but his flashers aren't on. So I get pissed off and do a burnout and do my left turn onto 4th and start speeding. I then realize how silly speeding is, since it might jeopardize my kd mission. So i slow down, and it was good timing because i end up at a red light beside an undercover cop. I slowly make my way to burrard street. I then get on burrard and cross the bridge. some asshole in a bmw driving about 40 kmh faster then me flies past me and cuts me off and gets in the furthest lane and passes some other people... I bet he was drunk. whatevs. So i get to Burrard and davie and wait at the lights. these two couples cross the street, both highly intoxicated. right infront of my car one of the couples start drunkenly making out. The light changes and i ruin their romantic moment by reving my engine. They stop kissing and laugh, they stumble off the street and i turn onto davie and end up at my destination. When I'm at my destination, I quickly went for the milk, then the kd, then I seen some cookies on sale and got those. I then adventured over to the ice cream, but it was too rich for my blood. Then the shoppers drug mart chips were on sale so i bought two of those.

I used to go to this shoppers a lot when i used to live downtown. And when i went to the till the cashier knew me from an interesting conversation we had a long ass time ago about the movie Fight Club. We make idle chit chat and notices my absurb amount of kd(3 boxes, all of which were the high class pricey type) and I make a comment that I'm in no mood to cook my planned meal at such an hour, and kd seems like the best option. She laughs, I should have gotten her number, she's rather cute, and I think she likes me, she remembered our conversation from a year and a half ago, that definitely means something.

But anyways. While heading out. I hear a shitload of sirens. I decide not to wait to drive on davie, so I go through the back alleys to get to burrard. While crossing thurlow i looked down to see 2 ambulances and a couple cop cars outside of oasis nightclub, i assumed somebody got fucked up, and i was right.. since a buddy of mine told me when I got home that somebody OD'd at the club. So I drove back home, it was extremely quiet, except for this obnoxious bmxer who thought he could bike across the road while the only car on the road is close to him...But after that It was clear sailing.I got home, and I was exmtrely excited to make my Kraft dinner happen. I started making my kraft dinner, heating up the water, sprinkling in some salt. I dumped the kd in the water. Then I went to the bathroom, while going to the bathroom, my roomate asked where i went last week. I explained my alberta situation to him, and he understood the situation and felt for me about the bullshit bus ride thing.

I get to the washroom, get rid of unneeded nutrients, then while washing my hands, the soap flies away from me and falls in the toilet, which was pretty spectacular... I took it out and washed it out, luckily the toilet water had changed. So, I wash my hands and go downstairs to the kitchen and start working on my meal, i gather the milk and butter and a strainer and a bowl.. The kd is cooking, so I wait beside it and whistle the Song of Time from Legend Of Zelda. Then out of nowhere, 3 of my roomates start raiding the kitchen and cooking things. I get a bit flustered, so i try and act calm and cool.. I don't like cooking around people, i always feel like they will criticize my cooking strategies. anyways, the kd starts to boil, and i take some out to test it and it's the perfect texture. so i strain it, and mix it all together. 1/3 milk, and half a spoonful of butter and the kd mix.

I stir it until the powder is gone and all of the macaroni is golden. I then put it into my other bowl, i clean both of my dishes, because I'm respectable when it comes to dishes being done.
I then put some black pepper in one of those awesome pepper churning thingers(citation needed) on my KD. i mix the kd up, then put on some more.. i want every macaroni piece to have some pepper on it. I finally accomplish my goal, and finally get to eating my masterpiece.
The first bite was breath taking. It's as if I was eating at a fine dining resteraunt reserved for gods and jewish people. The second bite was even better. This one was a little bit more peppery, but oh man... It was perfect. Halfway through the meal I took in too much and started choking.. So I took a break from my kd to relax, and rest from the nonstop orgasmic meal. I then coughed, and out comes the macaroni that made me choke... I then finished my bowl, and stood their exhausted, and praised my meal to my roomates. I offered the last peice of macaroni to my roomate. but he was clearly not worthy, since he chose to make some stupid chicken burrito from scratch..

I then washed my dish, got some milk in my classic "Love brings rainbows cup" and got me some cookies, settled down, and started telling my epic tale.
It was the best macaroni i've ever had

No comments:

Post a Comment