Finished Broken Home

Broken Home-Thriller, Drama

I wrote the original outline before christmas on my blog here. It was pretty weak but after a few ffp classes I made it into something interesting and dynamic. Suprisingly I stayed with the same theme and story style and archs, and throughout each rewrite of the outline I realized how malleable the plot was due to the strong chracters and sticking to the same themes and genre.

Now I just finished it today :3, I'm doing a full read through right now before sending it into Katt for the ffp class. I'm gonna post some of the crazy shit to be expected from it.

-Car accident, wife is practically dead infront of our protagonist Frank right in front of him, he can't do anything about it.
-Shelby get's punched/knocked out by the antagonis(Vincent) which starts the 2nd act.
-Mick gets a pen in his arm.
-A dog gets impaled by a broken hockey stick offscreen for barking too much.
-Heather(The youngest, 11 years old) gets beaten up by Vincent off screen while the entire family hears it and can't do a damn thing about it.
-Mick gets his ass thrown out a window during one hell of a beating.
-Frank gets stabbed and left with an Unconcious Heather in a now burning house.
-Shay gets hit, followed by Mick baseball swinging a firepoker into the side of Vincent's head. He doesn't die of course.
-Shelby saves Frank by throwing him off the roof right before the hous eis completely engulfed in flames.
-Shay nearly falls through the floor of the second level of the barn, below is an old rusted spike harrow(Evil piece of machinery with lots of spikes and such. She escapes in a Indiana Jones-esque style.
-Epic fight on third level of Barn with Mick, Shay and Vincent, Vincent nearly gets hanged but falls down onto the Harrows.

I rewrote the third act because a lot of it lacked the action essential to make a good thriller. I think the new third act works a lot better. I tried to get everything in there, focus objects, ticking clocks, progressive complications, breathing room(To a degree), and some reality to all of it.